Late yesterday night, while I was ironically sleeping
, I received a call from a friend. She was hysterically crying. I could only make out about every third word, which understandably made it hard to figure out what she was saying.
Figuring that I could buy some time, I was saying things like, "mmm hmm," "oh yeah," and "hmmm." After doing this periodically for about 3 minutes, while letting her sob on, it became somewhat more understandable that she wanted something. From that point our conversation went something like this:
Her: What are you doing tomorrow?
Me: I was going to go out on a friends boat for a cookout.
Her: But you could reschedule that right?
Me: Sure, I don't see why you couldn't reschedule a MEMORIAL DAY.
Her: *starts crying again* cry cry DON'T KNOW cry TO cry cry cry. cry cry TAKE cry cry THE WEDDING. cry would cry cry cry TO cry.
Me:
*I sit there silent trying to decode what she had just said*
Her: Well, do you think you could do that?
Me: mmm hmmm... *It was a reflex, don't ask me why*
Her: You're the best, what time should I pick you up?
Me:
Pick me up for what?
Her: The wedding silly. (side note: why do women always say "silly"?)
Me:
You tell me.
Her: I think 9:30 will be good, it's a pretty long drive. Oh, you need to dress respectable, too.
Me: I always do.
Her: *laugh* Alright see you tomorrow. Bye.
Me: mmm hmmm...
The reason she asked me at the last minute is because her boyfriend was flying standby. Alright understandable, I guess.
Fast forward to 9:30...I'm outside waiting.
9:45...Now I'm thinking that I should have picked her up because she always gets lost coming to my house.
10:00...I call her. It appears her boyfriend actually made it on an flight early this morning, and he can go with her. Nice of her to tell me.
I tried to salvage my earlier plans, but they already offered my seat to somebody else. That wasn't a big deal to me. I just went to work, and started cleaning the giant trailer, which is a rental that will be picked up soon, that has been being used as an office by me, and an air conditioned break room by the others.
I just a giant cardboard sign on the door that they use to get inside, which read:
GET ALL YOUR STUFF OUT. ANYTHING IN HERE PAST FRIDAY WILL NOT BE RETURNED. IT WILL ALL BE GOING IN THE DUMPSTER, OR HOME WITH ME.
SINCERELY,
ME
They apparently didn't believe me. I went in and there was even more crap that I had remembered. Somebody had hung a dartboard. It was a break room, not a bar!
The things that made it home with me were a microwave, TWO mini-refrigerators, a cooler, two coffee pots, a tea pot, a few folding tables, a ton of folding chairs, some markers and a white board.
The things that made it into the garbage far outweigh the things I inherited. There were countless bags of garbage, which puzzles me because they would have had a ton more space, and the dumpster was 4 feet from the door. There were empty cans of tuna fish that still contained the watery-juice. It was a great smell. Having been sitting in a metal box, that was in 90 degree weather for the past few days, I'm shocked that they still actually sat in there. I found countess coffee cups, tea bags, microwaveable food packages, fast food wrappers and more crap. Some of the stuff I found scared me...why would somebody leave a condom, USED none the less, on the floor?
I also found a ton of change. $74.62, to be exact. Which found its way into the coin-star machine at the store, and then those bills found their way into the cash register at the package store. In return I found a bottle of Grey Goose in my hand. Isn't money such a great thing?
