I'm going to call this the Danda-bear (because it is obviously a Dog and Panda combined).

I've got to find me one of these, and teach it to run up and jump on people, on command. People would be like "It happened so fast, the panda came out of nowhere" then I will walk by with my Danda-bear and the person will be like "That's it! That's the panda that attacked me!"

The cop taking the report will think that they are crazy, and hit them across the face with a baton, then throw them in a mental hospital. Then the Danda-bear and I will walk by the hospital everyday, so the person can see us from the window of their padded room, and yell to the staff, "That's the panda! That's the pandaaaaaa" as they wrestle the person down and give them a sedative.

I think I might pitch it to CBS as a reality show...