I was walking down the street today on my way to get lunch, because I was in a rush this morning and didn't have time to pack one, and I saw a sign that said "FREE COOKIES!"

I was all over that. I was thinking hell, they are cookies, they are free, and I don't have to bother getting lunch. Sign me up.

I went over, and took my place in one of the pseudo-lines they had. I could hear people grumbling as they got their bag of free cookies, but didn't really think anything of it.

Finally, I got to the front of the line and I was all happy because I was getting free cookies. Some giddy little high school girl hands me the bag and says "thank you for making the right choice."

I say "No, thank you" and walk away. As I'm walking back, I reach inside the bag and realize that there are not any cookies. Instead of giving me free cookies like they said they would, they gave me a note, which pretty much just called me a fat ass for wanting free cookies, a pamphlet for healthy alternatives, and they included a pedometer so I can count my steps.

What blatant false advertising. I wouldn't care if they even gave me a mini-cookie, but they gave me crap for wanting cookies. Whoever came up with that campaign should be fired.