I have been quite the little worker lately.

I had to go on a road trip to some little hick town in Pennsylvania the other day, because "it was too heavy to ship." One of the guys that works with me offered to come so I could be back within a day. I'm pretty sure I could have made the drive myself, but I took him.

I kind of wish I hadn't. He never shut up. The reason I took him was so I could sleep some of the way because I had a meeting the next day. That didn't work out at all.

The dog liked the trip. He had his head out the window as much as I would let him. Yes, the drool was flying from his mouth. I found out that for every two times the other guy had to stop to use the bathroom the dog went once. That guy had the bladder of a 4 year old. I've taken this trip several times over the past few years and I can usually make it with 1 stop, 2 if I drink a lot of soda and coffee.

I also learned that usually the cop in a "one cop town" is a prick, and has bad grammar. I asked the gas station attendant if he would mind if I let the dog take a piss behind the building. He actually replied with "I couldn't care less." I liked him. So I bring the dog back, and he is walking around, while on one of those really long retractable leashes, and I hear somebody say "Hey you can't do that." I didn't even look to see who said it, and since I knew the person was pretty far away I figured the dog would be done by the time they got to me.

I was right. The dog did what had to be done, I gave him a treat for not doing it in my truck (not that he would) and I turned around to see Barny Fife about 15 feet away from me. I said smiled politely, the dog snarled and we were on our way...I thought.

Barny Fife said "Hooo-ld up a secon'" as he placed his thumbs in his belt. I turned around, and said "prone" which instantly made the dog lay down, in a I will lunge at you and rip your face off manner, while he growled. Fife talked with me from a distance. This dog is awesome. Fife asked me what I was doing back there. I told him the dog had to relieve himself, and then Deputy Fife started to give me a ticket.

I'm getting a ticket because I let the dog take a piss behind a gas station, after the attendant said he couldn't care less? That wasn't happening. Barny Fife became angry when I refused to sign the ticket. The guy with me decided to be the mediator, between me and fife because I wasn't listening after that point. The guy took the ticket "for me." Yeah, that was real helpful.

Then this "by the book" power hungry pseudo-cop asked the guy if he wanted to give him the money for the fine, and he would turn it in when he went back for the night. Knowing that Fife wouldn't actually do that and that the guy was considering paying the ticket, I grabbed it out of his hand crammed it in my pocket and said we need to go.

I don't think there is a chance that I ever pay the ticket. First off Fife doesn't count as a cop, and second I think my bank will make fun of me if I write a $9.00 check.